fifty five... V2........

I am afraid of myself

I am afraid of losing you

I fear that this fire

Is also burning you.

Shall we set for the voyage

To the water and the darks??

We shall survive together

Away from the marks.

We will protect our love

Unconditionally forever

And the couple butterfly

Escaped from the fire......

Kick The Habit

in this blog m neglecting the whole bi-sexuals....sorry..cuz this is mainly abt women and men...separately.......

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Now what the fuck are the women doing in this world...like like its hell men...women too...they are trying to shoulder the men and yeah yeah look at this ...hear what the toi says...

women are closing the gender gap...they are equalling the men in every field and bitches are trying to level us on the tobacco death cases also....so sweet haan....such a big competition the men face today with the women....if not in the fight of the engineering and the medical entrances its the fight for the tobacco consumption....bastards....now i cant exactly visualise wt are the indian women trying to do... look how funny it is ahh... ARRGHHHH !!!!!

girls or say women compete with us saying that men are given more private liberty than them..that men are given more openings than them.....and so to stand with men the so call modern women or the bitches take this constitutional right of women empowerment for smoking..boozing...oral nicotine....drugs...and worser sex addiction too....

science says women have more sex instincts than men but men have less control over those instincts compared to women....and soo that the men crave for sex more than women...but XX if once ignited burn much brighter than men..meaning women are more exploited once fueled...

years down the line this science wil en route to new theory stating that women and men have the equal addiction to sex..and fuck....

doesnt it sound so bullshit when the TOI reports this...cant all those women helping organisation or the "maitri mahila samiti" and the "women empowerment clubs" have a say to this...cant they come up and try to reduce this addiction... this fuck that women are going thru... people looked to INDIA as a country of pride and values...and we are the ones who lost it...rather threw it away...we are the ones responsible for our fall..both men and women...togeteher have led the nation thrash out...cuz what we are trying to do is not stand up to the western culture but hanging up on them for everything... we cant blame the west for the import of habits...

women in india...savitri....as we called it earlier are no more...every other woman has sucked into the fashion trend and nudity...showing off ur orgasms is a status symbols for the indian ladies today....short thin blouse... contrasting brassiere....and what not....what not i ask...every damn thing..and the final blame comes on men that we tease them ... rape them ... and y wont the fuck such social dressing excite men..its a biological instinct within every men .. too every women infact...god made sexes to create a generation....to create life...but not to rape or to fuck in public....

i would say that unless this whole cigerettes,booze,drugs is brought to an end..the nation wont ever try raising..govt has to take an action...take an immediate decision to end this...and women i special shud stop this...but that does never mean i license men to do all this...its a fault..its a disease..its an epidemic irrespective of sex...

no one does it...shud wt we aim at....i cant uinderstand how can people kill themselves knowing its a call to suicide..its a call to hell...a call to mortality....y cant people stop this...y cant people truncate this..

and i strongly feel that the initiative has to be taken by women...mainly cuz they can bring in a revolution better...and men can join hands to it...

i appreciate anyone who quits smoking..boozing..drug..atleast after this blog...thanks in case...

c'mon guys and girls...we need to stand united...for a cause...for the betterment of the nation...the betterment of all..its we who can do this...and if this ignites from the youth...it can surely curb at the oldies too....
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SiMbA

reverence for the super-NATURAL....

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day in day out.....every call from them...every call from the two persons who hold high above anything and everything i have ever known in my life throws a string of clutch thro me..... yeah correct m referring to my parents.... they have been the best support for my life til date though i have never been an inch closer to them in terms of sharing and discussing things related to me...atleast not personal if at all anything professional.....

i have been trying to accept so many things that they have told me....try to atleast nod the damn head of mine and make them feel happy... but sometimes it crosses the epitome of my nerves....specially when it comes to GOD...the true power of the earth as i assume it.. or may be as i believe in it ..... wts GOD for me is a belief that i have inmy soul.... i dont consult with anyone if or but of GOD.... and so i dont like to advice anyone to pray or be an atheist... but belief in god is something i think is prime for the survival....

now also i dont say it to be accepted by everyone.. its jus a self thought....fine fine... m getting off topic...

what i was trying to say is that at times my parents force me to go to temples at the time of some occassion (say) ganesh puja as now.... and they really pester me with this compulsion like its a good thing..i cant oppose them n stand and say NO... i dont like defending my parents by offending them that hurts their heart and me too... but on the other hand, i dislike anything thats made to do of me without my interest... and so comes the barrier...

now what m i supposed to do in such situ..what m i supposed to think...as for as my mind says i dont like visiting the temple..atleast not on compulsion...but the heart thinks entirely a different planet of thoughts....cuz as i said i dont like offending them...and in reality what i really end up doin is not visiting the temple....

and this whole epiphany times are hard on mee......i try and do some rituals at these festival times.....i do prayers when the heart feels to do so...when it comforts me, my soul...its really marvell feel when m extricated from these forced orders......

also i would say that m no atheist..i believe in god.. i trust in HIM and cuz his plans too...i believe his text of each one's life....but then does it mean he only hears us when we stand in front of him and join hands or kneel down or maybe make a hooly cross....does this really the only source of worship...

then where does those theories come from which say that god resides in us....HE is everywher...HE's omnipresent... if thats the true sense of HIS existance then cant we stay home and pray to HIM....i visit temples at seldom intervals....at times when i need peace .. when i really need some time off everyone...even the past...every darn thing that has occupied me...

i can say that god is everywhere.. and its upto the interest of ppl to worship or not...its personal to do what they like...but m confused with this whole parents and suggestion thing...

any suggestion on how to deal with it without disrespecting the parents....???

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either m jobless or i dont know how to utilise time !!!!

i have been thro' lots in these days that m not able to sit and blog.... mama's birthday was pretty cool and fun....god damn can anyone imagine that we spent 4800 bucks y'day .... thala gethu saved us....what a hell of a dine it was... urban tadka rocked.. it was really an awesome dining experience with excellent menus and still brilliant serving and speed...wonderful...also to end off the day it was slightly drizzling when we left from the restaurant ... loves it.... and then the autorickshaw ride finally.... lovely...me,juju,kuchi,raghu.... enjoyed from the back of the vehicle...we sat facing the road in the reverse....and it was a really superb treat from mama.....then finally reached home to find the "ela" sitting with bruised leg....he hit over a road junction and got hurt when he fell off the bike.....but this sankili sundar escaped for the 2nd time in 7days....semma luck da avanukku....and then finally these ppl boozed end the night and had fun drinking which i hate like anything... i don hate who booze.. but somehow i have this hatred for drinks....its jus my personal opinion....


TPO:: the whole tpo work and all are really getting to my nerves and then the response from the companies ... "u are in our list" , "we will confirm our visit later"... blah blah.. i hate it too much.,..... what the hell do these HRs think of themselves i dunno.... damn they cant reply properly that if they are interested or not..ans we are the ones who suffer not even the class mates... tehy can have a simple question "yaar, tum log kaam nahi kar rahe ho..kisi ko bulao..." the hell with these people.... these bloody idiots cant speak a proper communicable english and a proper GD but they can easily come up and blame others for it.... as if they are masters of their field... and some guys just have no job and will come and torture for the arrival of companies.... arey f**k them dogs... are we jobless or are we doin a assistant's job to report to them.. we work so much that we ourselves are worried and mad at the response of companies for their neglecting attitude .... and over and above these the classmates... and i swear i willo kill those ppl who spread rumours .. and that also so pathetic that the ppl agree it.... wtf man... ppl think we are slaves and are responsible for the non availabilty of companies.... i challenge such bastards to come up and do the work and get a company for campus.. n i say no one wil stick a day with attending classes parallelly... seriously man y the hell m i responsible if a comany is not goin for campus.... m seriously fed up with such people... on the other hand who even though not being a part of the tpo try and bring in their personal contacts for the welfare of the college.. hats off to them.... i really admire those people who selflessly help for the public....

finally the thing is that neither m i enjoying the tpo too much now like the past nor m i properly putting my concentrated efforts to my masters... nor their seems to be any job oppurtunities ahead... i dunno wt is gonna happen to me.... wait n watch is what i belive in.....

vinayakane....troubleshhoter...

dint bath today... worst it was... i was really so bad n pathetic that on such an auspicious day on vinayaka chaturthi i dint bath at all... to exactly start off the day started at 1pm for me... cuz thats wen i woke up...so late i know...cuz i slpet at 6.20am only....we had finished playing the nchasse event, the online puzzle hunt championship...and did manage to grab the top spots also...was nice... then suddenly soin mandaiyya...felt like having kozhakattai...n went n got raw materials... n den i also realised that we can cook something today....at home and all i'll get up early have puja n get a new idol of the lord ganesh and day moves on so smooth... but contrastingly here it was the versa..vice....so planned to make sundal....trust me we did them well...not so inch perfect as mom but for our standards it was jus below okay....but sundal was really nice....eithr its a easy one to do....dint visit any temple ... not even the nearest ones... i rally feel pissed off at this act of mine.....
then the day carrie don with "boys" at KTv...enjoyed it...by the evening...chelsea match...played well n got three useful points...but accepted wasn't much interesting...then again we cooked for the night...the leftovers of the noon rice was fried...courtsey me,mama,ela... all did well...esp. the small sized mama did all the chopping n cutting work... ahd a pretty nice dinner... day ends off like this... but very unfortunately n so lately i realise that i got machine test tomoro...n i gotta study...

p.s.- who said guys cant cook...try ours..a combo of me,juju n soin....really really delicious....wen at form...

p.s.s- photo coursey soin..

LOVE....or love??

Once one of my friend..a girl told me… there is nothing called true love and its all about understanding and care… and if these two things are there you can spend your life with anyone… Well…. i completely disagree with this statement....though it’s just a personal opinion…i don wish to justify the statement...although i can.... but I know one thing very truly…. life is not so simple and obvious now a days like it was in the past…. When people knew that they will fall in love after marriage and live their life mirthfully…. Now things are largely different and people are complex and complicated and so are their lives .... so much that people just dunno what to do when to do how to do..… in the present times you can’t ever take it for granted that the person will accept all your complexities and crap shit…. And here that people realize the real inheart value of love (of course m not talking about friendly, brotherly or motherly love or the divine love here :P)… Because when you are in love you know you’ll do it and will win every situation… It makes life different and nothing seems difficult :D :D.... love is such a thing when nothing seems there does never exist a question of corrects and incorrects....everything sseems a bliss...atleast at the start... people who love can never estimate their love nor can they weigh...coz its so light...so air... so everything...so beautiful....

there is one more thing or a saying in love "once you loved a person, it becomes negligibly possible to be logical about them anymore...." ... and love is so irrational (not in color or caste,... i mean in terms of affection and trust) that , the more you loved someone , the less sense anything made.....

this post is a tribute to the love of the souls of true love... love u ......

future.... BEST ....present

This was my one very old poem...written by me....my personal favorites....

I shouted 'hey my dear '
She went away and nowhere near.
I reached for her, but it was late
Later i realized, may be that's fate.

I could still feel her within myself
Her hands holding mine.
Her voice tuning my ears
Her presence occupies my mind.

She is an angel,she is my fairy
She took my heart, and also the beats.
The moment she left, i cried and howled
My life turned into a pure clean sheet.

My heart cries,"I still love U"
I wish she could hear my soul.
Mind says forget her and carry ahead
But the past moments still occupy the mind.

Hey my sweets come back to me
I live for you, I die for you.
I need you with me forever truly
Together we will start everything newly.

I wish all this is not a dream
They come true and i feel supreme.
The moment she's back, I will be alive
Hey my beauty come soon, only then do i survive.....

Bullshit...Husband

This is one strange news that i same across n which i had never known ... whatt a comedy ..... On the day of attack on the USA , 11.sept as we better know it as...
A husband who used to work at the 103rd floor of the WTC, had bluffed over her wife for months long was at his girl friend's house doin something...what ever i don wanna know....his mobile was switched off for long to avoid his wife's irritating voice....and suddenly when he switched it on the phone immediately rang...and it was his calls....he picked up the call n his wife screamed at him.."Are you OK? where are you"...the guy who was unaware of the attack and dint even watch it on the tv shouted back,"What do you mean? I'm in my office of course!"....and the wife was intelligent enuf to divorce the cheat....

Moral - Guys if u ever cheat on ur wife, take specail care u keep ur mobile and ur TV on...

lol...

status message...

Simply i was sitting with the lappy and was chit chatting with my friends on gmail...and then from nowhere i put up a status message....
It was so unexpected from myself..that even i dint believe...jus a few lines for the someone...this someone whom i've been visualizing as a part of me....what eva...this is what i finally ended up with....

" her eyes shone brighter than the sun's glow...
she's too much mine cant leave her alone....
held her under the rhythm of my beat....
love thou through my eyes.....
u really really sweet.... "

fifty five - 55

The very thought of losing her was driving me crazy...
Did she ever cry, or was i the only one soaking in pain???
Could this be the last time our eyes met each other's gaze...
Virtually i believed, that i could be with her together till eternity....
And once like never it sounded real beauty !!!!!!!!!

2nd half the key....

an excellent performance from the blues in the 2nd half coming back form a very underperformed 1st half....italian's half time team talk did have an effect....very good goal by carvalho following an excellent move from lamps and malouu....... they really played with spirits up....nice work blues... but the brilliance of wayne cancels it at the tick of the time to go thro to the penalties.... to my biggest surprise lamps helped cech to start off with a saving penalty....then evra's blunder gifted us the first silverware of the season to start . Its a great motivation for the team and the new coach....

GO BLUES !!!!!!!

ARMY...my piece of cake??? is it?? OH YES !!!

- "cant believe this happening to you...means wtf, ur applying for army...crazy or what...look at ur belly u fat guy..wont e1 b eligible..."
Now who on earth cares what people's comments on my wishes n likes...i seriously cant understand wen ppl give u advices n stuffs un-welcomed....bullshit all.....dirty filthy crap-holes...c'mon yaar, m not asking ur girl to sleep over !!! ....m just applying for army which has been my desire for long or u can lack of jobs...wt eva... !#!# .so jus keep ur shit mouth shut....
Anyways the point is that m applying for army...dunno what suddenly came to my mind...n now i'm thinking of applying for indian air force and navy also....GOD damn...ughh...it's jus an adrenalin shoot that happened to me when i saw one of friend was filling in the form front of my eyes...so i tho8 y not give a shot...i know i've that extra muscles put up... but it's fair enuf man....lesc wt happens...when happens...i hope i do this in time....coz m such a lazy dog... jus don imagine....
N wt else...this whole tpo has been getting on my nerves from a past couple of days... ppl criticizing my brochure design...get lost... i can do what i think is best in me... we don have a damn good printer who can get a good copy of brochure printed...now for that i gotta roam whole day tomoro searching for a proper printer.....n damn the coll cant get this done by hiring some professional photographers n printers....uughhhh!!!!!.... now what...do i've a choice or what....stuck with it... i do enjoy working for the placements...its nice u know..better than many other experience...
m happy for one thing that, i've been allotted my final yr project under the HOD...supposedly the best of our dept.. a damn techie guy...extremely sound in knowledge....but no sound in voice...poor we....still he's quite better than others...wil love working under him....gethu machan.....finally sth worth here....i wanna learn n research a lot under him... hope i get the kind of help from him....

podum...unnum eduvum tonala....dooggggsss.....!!!!!!!!!!

blood suckers...bitches...

Flies will never be popular creatures, in spite or because of their omnipresence. An example of the fly's influence on our lives can be found in the etymologies of the word mosquito...which can be traced back to musca, the Latin word for fly.....Our abhorrence towards mosquitoes is mainly due to their disgusting blood sucking stinks....bitches...coz de r female having a long proboscis to pierce the skin and suck the blood of humans and animals...thevid***.....
and this new house is like the mating place of darn, those blood suckers....its like we kill of some pile of them each evening till next morning...still they reproduce themselves double in no....and the worst part is the modern day bitches are even equipped with "mortien-resistant" skin..kyunki, this mortien coil or liquid or both has no hold on these....
all nights its been nearly sleepless...sleeping at 4am..doin nothing...even this very moment soin is shouting "otha bitch kosu" ... poor him, we all......
we need a saviour for us to ess from these...cant even use the loo properly..courtsey those blood suckers...cant even shit wid ease....
this very moment too i'm being constantly attacked by these breed....

parpom...edavadu vazhi seyyanumm....illa na magane malaria daan.....

aum bhur buvah::

The performance of Gayatri Japa serves as a preliminary rite for self purification, bestows on individuals Atma Shakti and protects them from the malefic effects of sins and expiation. Gayatri mantra is supercharged with power and as my grandparents used to say,been prescribed to mankind under Vedic sanctions.

A fresh order of life begins to blossom for all persons from the moment of initiation into upanayana, the sacred thread (a) poonal ceremony. The most cardinal part of upanayana is Brahmaopadesa, which is initiation into uttering of the sacred Gayatri Mantra. Enriched with divine energy, Gayatri mantra serves as a faithful protector for all those who silently utter the mantra to themselves with sincerity. This mantra is a dynamic force and enjoins the brahmachari (bachelor), the grahasthas (house holder) and the vanaprastha (forest dweller), all to repeat this sanctified mantra at least 108 times a day....and i do it 108 times only on avani avattam...n hate myself for it...this divergence from rituals....

The Gayatri mantra, the most mighty of the Vedic mantras, is a prayer to the Sun god to alleviate one from all human sins, physical dissipation and to bestow knowledge, health and longevity. Gayatri is the mantra to be repeatedly recited in the morning before the Sun begins to rise, at noon when the Sun is in the apex and in the evening as the Sun sets, three times a day, what i've known as sandhyavardhanam....supposedly i neva do it...

Even after knowing every good thing about all these i still don follow any of these...and its pathetic n bad.. i want to follow them somehow my laziness is the prime cause my non indulgence in them...

any ways i believe in god n his powers...n trust him with his decisions of everyone's life...

sarvam shri krishnarpanam asthoo..

friendship....relationship...

y d hell do v celebrate a day like such....foreigners have der own way of celebrating such events....but v too follow them blindly....i don think der s any necessity of celebrating.... v can be a very good friend to someone which actually matters....jus coz today's a friendship day v wish every other aquaintance of ours n give them the greetings... but jus after may be a day or so when v meet them, v dont give a damn to wen the cross us on a street.. is this wt a friendship is about... worthless... frenz don need a fixed calender date to have funn and wish each other...rather a true good friend can be der with u always...wen ever u need them...this is what it's all about...v don make buddies jus to wish them once in a year but also to walk along n shoulder them for life.....
m scribbling after such a long time...almost forgot that i even had a blog.. it feels good coming back n putting tho8s to paper....

i'll be posting a lot more very soon....

-for me my friends are always been very integral part of my life....i wish i get back them all from childhood til date..... missing u all my friends...