insanity... ???????? what's happppng... Damn....

what do i do....what do i do ?????????? i have nothing to do...or may be i've nothing to think of what to do.... or i'm just blank.....blank...serene with no thoughts.....seriously m having no thoughts..by now you might now that m not able to put my thoughts together.... i really miss a lot of people in ma life....m not a so much hard-rock-hearted guy like many....m soft-sober-emotional.....and many criticize me for not being strong emotionally....i, very easily get affected by the thoughts of people about me....esp for those whom i care like a hell...i anytime every time can be there for them....when they need me..when they dont need me....when they shout at me...i want to take it all from them....cuz from them i cant take silence....the eerie that they produce in my ears is jus so hurting...jus so unfair and unrealistic.....i really cant c people not talking to me who are my own....whom i say that are just mine....i dont like sharing them with anyone...may be i'm too possessive at times.... but i fear loosing people...cuz i've lost a real big major part of life....one whom i want back in this life....but its hard to get back.....

i know life at times shows us an virtual-end-tunnel....dark-lonlines filled-air .... around us with no one near by...may its just the check of the supernatural (as i define god) for our deeds...and our craps that we take and make everyday.... so its like this.....like this...which i just cant define..or may be now i cant define it....its jus odd ... pretty shackling....

i cant believe that i have been not writing any poems for quite long..its so unusual self of mine....if not a complete meaningful one, but i atleast write a small stanza...something that comes to my fucking-mind.....but for the few past weeks i'm not even writing a word...and m completely being paralyzed away from some sense-blogging.... m not even properly reading my best-loved blogs..... and one of them is RANE-the solitarywriter..... where is that goddamn person.... no posts from that blog for long...or i missed it.....m missing it....

i live in a house, that we 12 friends have rented for a year....its really like a festival daily....and now when the real festival is coming, many are leaving for home.. few left...few goin on sat.... i will be waiting for them to come back....cuz i love being with them...jus amazing....

i have been like this for so many times .... many times i feel so lonely....and the worst part is i get over them so easily....seriously i get over depressions so very easily..... and m the best synonym for "frivolous"...i take things so lightly...like a feather...and its sometimes the worst....the worse that one can be in a state.....

i dont wanna end this post....i dont know how to end this post...cuz i dunno what i started with...what it means....so m jus putting a few lines that i wrote y'day...and one friend of mine liked it...and copied it too...

"when ur feeling very lonely,
jus take the love from ur heart....give it a name.....
and then give her a hug....and caress her for eternity...
just kiss her...and deeply love her.....
cuz only she can make u feel comfy....no1 else can....
love you..."

P.S. - this post is not meant to point at anyone....so kindly dont bother me by asking ....

P.S.S - those who stood by this post till the end, i appreciate them....you are all feted.... :P